HARRY POTTER AND THE ONLY ONE DAY OF WEIRDENESS!
by Fool of a Took
Summary: Harry has a very weird 5th book, chapter-1! But the rest of the chapters are from the original 5th book so i didn't bother to write them. So anyways, READ IT!


HAARRRLLLOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey ppl!! I'm your evil author for the afternoon ... or is it morning?!.. or.. or maybe, its EVENING!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (don't ask why)

Anyhoos, This is my first fic ...EVER!!!!! In this penname of course.

So As I feel extra evil, I'll start wit the ficcie.... But remember, this is only a ONE SHOT ficcie... So don't go saying "OO!! Please update" or 'UPDATE" or even "CHEESE!!"

You have been warned. I repeat.. you have been warned.

If you do not heed my warnings, .. .... Then... I ...I will....REPEAT!!!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! The evilness of the humbugs ..and.. stuff...

O.O.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.oo.o.o.o.o..ooooooooo....o.o..o.o.o.o..o.oo.o.o.o..oO

$#%#$($&(!#$#!!$#%$#&%$&(!#!%$&%$&(&$

Harry Potter was lying on aunt Petunia's parched flowerbed. It was supposed to be Harry's new 'room'. Harry didn't complain. At least the dead decaying plants didn't smell as bad as his old room.

You see, when Harry was in hogwarts, Dudley, who was expelled from Smeltings for being too fat, farted in his room. Even after 6 months, the smell didn't seem to die... Poor Harry.

Harry's aunt, Petunia who was a normal annoying muggle, was an abnormally sexy stripper by night. His uncle, Vernon who worked in the gym was actually beginning to loose a few micro-pounds!!!!

Another reason harry liked his new room was that, now he could listen to 'Telly Tubbies' without having to get glares from Dudley, who always wore that yellow costume and called himself 'Lala'.

Harry who was very intelligent and who was steadily getting giddy decided that standing upside down on your head would make you giddy.

CRASH!!

Suddenly, there was a loud CRASH!! from inside the house. Harry quickly got up and peered through the window. Dudley seemed to have broken the chair that he was sitting on.... again....again....again.

Harry decided to leave quickly before his uncle could blame him for Dudley's fat.

Harry went towards the park. He decided (he does that a LOT!!) to stay hidden in the garbage bin till the coast was clear.

The coast was clear.

Harry came out to find exactly 1493 people looking at him including Cho and a very sexy looking dogs.

'DAMMIT!!' he whispered and ducked back into the bin. After a few hours of playing with the OVERFRIENDLY rats, Harry decided to head home.

Harry quietly made his way back to privet drive when he noticed Dudley walking in front of him. Actually it was amazing that Harry didn't notice Dudley till then. Dudley was still wearing his yellow costume and was just a few inches away from Harry – making weird faces at him.

"Hey there" he sneered and added, "Dudley" – as though it was some sort of an insult.

Harry looked at him weirdly, "What?"

"WHAT?!! YOU THINK YOU ARE SO SMART?!!! HUH?! HUH?!", shrieked Dudley.

"What are you talking about?!"

"You know...... stuff...", he muttered trying to look smart.

Harry shook his head and walked on silently.

Suddenly, all the street lamps went out. Harry couldn't even see the stars. It could've been the pollution or... or it could've have been something else... actually, it was just the pollution.

In the little light provided by the moon (which was not there) Harry could make out a hooded figure moving towards them.

Dudley began to gasp for air and began shivering all over – he was having his usual asthma attack.

Harry took his wand out from his ear where nobody could see it, and muttered "EXPECTO PATRONUM!!!!" Even though he knew that the pink hooded figure could not be a dementor.

A pearly white stag erupted from Harry's wand and began viciously attacking Dudley. After Harry gave Dudley what he deserved (Cockroach clusters), he directed the stag towards the hooded figure, who had the courtesy of waiting all this time.

The 'dementor' fell down and its hood fell back.

Harry looked at him curiously. It looked like Dudley was growing thinner and thinner till he was even thinner than Santa, all the elephants and uncle Vernon kept together!!!

Harry turned to the Pink figure. It looked like a flesh colored toad wearing fuzzy pink bows and cardigans.

Before Harry could spit out the gum he found in the bin, the hooded figure who looked remarkably like Umbridge (whom Harry has never met) disappeared!! ..or rather, hobbled of at a remarkable speed...which was not all that remarkable..

Harry helped Dudley to his feet (don't ask how). Dudley was too busy blowing nose bubbles to notice that he had been attacked by a stag and that he had lost excessive amounts of blood. Harry placed his wand behind his ear and began heaving Dudley.

Just then a VERY hot looking girl came running towards Harry and Dudley (not that they began drooling or anything...as a matter of fact..)

Ahem, Anyway, she came running towards them yelling, "Idiot boy!! Don't put it away! What if she comes back?!! OH! I'm gonna KILL Dungy!!!(Mundungus)

0.0.0..0.0..o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.l.l.0.o.o.l.o.o.0.0.0.0.0.0..o.o..ty.rf.tu.tyi.0.0.0.o..o.o..o.OOO

$$!$$#%#%$$$&%&%&%(&(&(&()&&)&)$&$%###$&%$%$

And that's how "KILL DUNGY" began....

That's all PPL!!!

As I said afore, because of unexplained reasons and unsolved mysteries, NO UPDATING!!!

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!!

See how EVIL I am!!!

It is the work of the evilness of my insignificant humbug army!!!!

ATTACK, humbugs.

ATTACK!!!!

EVIL!! EVIL!! EVIL!!!


End file.
